Having confidence is the greatest thing in the world. Being confident in whatever you’re doing gives you peace of mind as well as builds your personality like anything. It allows you to see the other side of the world of life through your eyes like never seen before.
Confidence can be achieved from many places and in any form. It may come from how you feel about your body, the shape of your body, the dresses that you wear, your hairstyle, your mindset, positive thinking, punctuality etc etc there is no end to this.
But the topic of the article says something different from the things talked above, don’t worry everything will appear before you as you go along the article and I hope it will prove helpful to you.
NOBEL THING TO DO (Adapted From the Paper)
The world today is not the same as it was 20 years back. Today people are obsessed with looking successful rather than actually being successful. Don’t try to impress anyone who doesn’t add value to your life. Remember, you will have a family to feed not a community to impress.
It is rightly said the ones who are actually doing the work are confused all the time thinking whether they know enough or not but in reality, they are the ones who know the world. And the stupid ones who don’t know a thing are the people who will have all the confidence in the world. This theory can be applied in any field in any work.
CHECK YOURSELF: While driving if you are having the confidence that you can do anything, drive any terrain, drive like a rally driver and come out of any situation uninjured without any consequences then you are behaving like the stupid ones who think they know everything but while driving you are having confidence and at the same time you are aware of the fact that anytime anything can happen and you can encounter any situation that can have consequences then you really know how to drive a car.
Your life depends on the small decisions that you take every day, which ultimately gives direction to your big decisions. The big decisions of life are a collection of small decisions taken throughout a lifetime.
Consistency is the key here. There is no guarantee of success but being consistent with determination in every decision increases your chances of success. If you have thought to do some work, then it is your determination to complete the work. Once you have the determination to do the work, then this habit becomes a key in the path to your success.
10 RULES FOR A KICKASS QUALITY OF LIFE
1. DON’T BE OVERCONFIDENT
Don’t be overconfident at something because you have a bit of experience in the past or read a book about it or watched a youtube video about it. If you don’t maintain this balance you will end up looking stupid in front of people which will further destroy your confidence and lower your self-esteem. If you don’t approach a new experience with a perfect balance of confidence and humility you will be humbled by force of life.
There is always a fine line between confidence and overconfidence in life, you will find yourself stuck between the two on numerous occasions. Here it is your responsibility that you should be able to develop the presence of mind to distinguish between the two. Comparing your past experiences of other moments might help you measure the amount of confidence that you should possess for each new experience of your life. Obviously common sense plays a vital role in such situations.
Being stuck between the two cannot be eliminated completely it can only be reduced to a certain extent.
2. DON’T BE MATERIALISTIC
By definition “materialistic person is the one who is excessively concerned with possession of materials, in short money-oriented”
Humans have a tendency to do something new, something adventurous every time they get bored and which they get pretty often. You must have noticed how excited you were when you had your first iPhone in your hand but now it doesn’t excite you much. This is because humans get bored of things very quickly and get back to their thoughts that they had before the possession of the things, which leads to sadness. They lack the consistency of love for non-living things. Being materialistic will slowly destroy your surprise factor.
Check out this youtube video for more information on materialism:
Don’t be a materialistic person, at the end of the day you would not be happy I assure you. As you grow older you’ll realize that a $300 watch and a $30 watch both tell the same time. If you want true happiness it will come from the relationships with your father, mother, siblings because humans are social animals. This is the reason why the hardest of the punishments in prison is solitary confinement. Being alone within 10 by 10 is the worst of the worst nightmares, prisoners don’t fear doing 20 years they fear doing 10 by 10. Prisoners that behave badly are kept in these as a solid punishment.
“Remember MONEY IS A TOOL, FREEDOM IS THE GOAL.”
3. HOW TO BE A STEP AHEAD
Listen to whatever is spoken to you then according to that find your best options and do only that whatever your heart wants to do in life. Never settle in life for something just because the situation demands to do so or someone else is telling to do so. And never ever listen to that person who has not done the thing before in their life that you are trying to do, and tries to tell you about it. That will leave you nowhere.
If you really want to be a step ahead then the thing that you choose to do, try to look up to somebody who has done it before, try to observe what are the mistakes they made, what are the challenges they faced, how they dealt with it, what are the challenges of going to a university or what problems arise at joining a new job, etc. Don’t just dive into it, do a proper analysis of the situation and just go for it. Never wait for opportunities because they never arrive when you want them to, make your own.
And be prepared for any obstacle that may come in your way. As a matter of fact, problems will come in whatever you do and it will your skills that will determine how you face it and what you do with it.
“You either win or learn”
4. THINGS DON’T MATTER MUCH (“ABSURDITY”)
As you grow older you will realize that things don’t matter much. People create their own problems, things that don’t require so much attention ends up eating a large part of your brain.
What am I going to wear? how am I looking? these questions ultimately don’t matter much. The only thing that matters is how you are going to represent your personality to others from the same resources that you have.
There are other big problems that are waiting for you in life so be prepared to take them wisely and give it your full brain power and make it a big deal rather than getting stuck on small issues worrying about why she/he is not talking to me.
It is easy to look good in $500 pair of shoes, but the talent is to make a $20 pair look like as fashionable as the $500 pair.
“Never forget 3 type of people:
Those who helped you in your difficult time, those who left you in your difficult time and those who put you into difficult time.”
5. SPEAK LESS, MEAN MORE
It is absolutely true that people who know more speak less mean more and those who speak more are the ones who believe in speaking rather than doing. The more knowledgeable you get in your field the more you realize that there are so much that you don’t know and you are just scratching the surface of what you know, you’re just getting started.
The people that don’t do anything will have all the confidence in the world and pretend to know everything and the people that actually know the things will be the ones who are confused all the time. This improves only with time, with experiences, and by living life to the fullest.
If you speak less the words coming out of your mouth will have more value and will have more weight. Speak only when required because people only listen to speak back they don’t listen to understand.
6. ACCEPTANCE IS KEY
Being accepting is the key to a peaceful mind. Accepting something or some situation that you are struggling to handle or having difficulty accepting the nature of the situation, can be made easier to deal with if you just simply accept the fact that you just have to do the work, there is no other choice associated with it.
Some people are smarter than you. Some have cooler clothes than you. Some are better at sports than you, it doesn’t matter, be the person who is more accepting of the situation, and respects the state that he is put into. Be the person who is generous and happy for others. Be the person who does the right thing. Be a nice person.
Be comfortable in uncomfortable situations. Don’t panic if you have a lot of pending work to complete just wake yourself and start doing the work rather than sitting and thinking about the work.
“I EXPECT NOTHING & ACCEPT EVERYTHING.”
7. MONEY CAN’T BUY “ULTIMATE” HAPPINESS
Money can buy you happiness but that happiness would not be eternal and would not last forever, you would get bored easily from this happiness and would be looking for the next thing to do. Don’t get me wrong here, having money is good it gives you financial independence and solves many 1st world problems but thinking only money matters in life that’s the wrong thought, and people with this thought land nowhere in maintaining relationships with their family members. It further pushes you to have a bad state of mind as true happiness is not found in materialistic things, it comes from the love and laughter found with each other.
It is not me that says this, the people who over the years own a tremendous amount of wealth have themselves conveyed the saying “Money can’t buy happiness”.
8. NEVER CHEAT “THIS” PERSON
You should always be true to yourself, never make fake promises just to convince yourself. Your inner thought should be the ultimate truth that you speak to yourself. Cheating somebody involves getting bored of that person but as a matter of fact, staying true to yourself will help you maintain a balance of your life.
Make some rules and regulations for your life and try to follow them as obediently as possible. These rules should not be broken for anyone, whatsoever the situation becomes. Many situations will arise in your life which will demand your decision-making ability but when you couple that with your rules and regulation it will become a deadly combination that will boost your personality.
People have a tendency to wishful thinking. It shows you the road that leads to nowhere. So be a little wise and learn to control this way of thinking. Put a separate line between real and fake thinking.
“Remember to never reply when you’re angry, never make promises when you’re happy, and never make a decision when you’re sad.”
9. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ANYONE
Never judge a person by their status, approach everybody with the same intention, whether it is your gardener, your cook or your cleaner. Have the same respect for everybody. Be nice to everyone.
Never underestimate even yourself, know your true worth, and act accordingly. Don’t allow anyone to underestimate you under any circumstances. People tend to overestimate what they can accomplish in the next two years and underestimate what they can accomplish in the next ten years. Generally, people don’t value time as much as they should be. Time is the most important thing and it can make or break anyone.
“If you are good at something never do it for free.”
10. SEE YOURSELF FROM 3rd PERSON PERSPECTIVE
This is the only thing that you really need to do out of the nine above mentioned rules because it is very easy to judge someone from a third-person perspective but very difficult to judge yourself from the same perspective that others see you. Try yourself to see through 3rd person perspective as much as possible which would enable you to clearly identify what’s wrong and what is not.
Never judge anyone in an instance or from an instance, although it is very difficult to learn this skill, it is a human tendency to judge people, it can’t be avoided, it can only be controlled through time and effort.
Try to put yourself in other people’s shoes and observe their situation from their end. This will enable you to accept more and know more about the situations that one can face in their lives. It will surely make you a knowledgable person with different lives lived at once.
In the end, I would just like to conclude by saying that nobody in this world is right, the one who is the least wrong is the most right. In short, nobody is perfect in this world. Everyone has their shortcomings which they are constantly trying to overcome. It is simply impossible to be a perfect person but it can at least be tried. The things talked here, if followed continuously can give you a dangerous level of self-confidence.
Disclaimer: The things talked in this article are somewhat based on the Nobel prize-winning paper that talks about the different perspectives of confidence and the determination one should possess, like never before.